I have a "My Bible"

In the group I described last post, the leader asked if we "brought our Bibles". None of us had. I realized that I didn't have one. While I own several Bibles for different purposes - my New Revised Standard with extensive footnotes and cross references from seminary (the first Bible I'd owned in decades), an old Red Letter Edition King James, whose language I love and old type I photocopy for collages, a light, paperback NRSV, and The Message for a jolt with familiar passages - none of them would qualify for "my Bible". That is, a companion, a Bible for comfort, regular study and devotion, something that is - well, personal.

I went online and ordered this one. It's an NRSV in gray, genu-wine imitation leather. I bought it from one of Amazon's used book dealers (it's new) and I waited a long, long time for it. I wondered if it was okay that I was checking the mail each day and saying where's my *$%ing Bible?

So today it arrived. I didn't expect it to be so pretty and to feel so soft and nice in my hands. It says "Holy Bible" and has a curlicue cross with little curlicue ornaments down the side. The verse on the front is "Be still and know that I am God." (I only need reminding of that several times a day.) There's a shiny blue ribbon marker. It has the handy titles above the stories like "The Transfiguration" so that people who haven't memorized chapter and verse can find things. And there are some silly things. It's clearly a gift Bible, probably for confirmands - that's about 9th grade, right? - and so there are all kinds of workbook pages in the front and back for the young person to fill in. "Favorite and Special Memories" of church events, holidays and vacations, etc. "People who have touched my life" with "Name" and "Why this person is special" to fill in. Then there's the "About Me" page with blanks for favorite movie, TV show, etc. "Milestones on the Spiritual Journey" that asks about when you were baptized and how you came to know Jesus. There are also lovely things like the prayer of St. Francis, St. Patrick, Thomas A Kempis, Merton, and more. There are Bible verses to read when you're afraid or lonely. There are instructions for Lectio Divina and centering prayer.

While I really didn't want all this extra stuff and I am totally making fun of the workbook pages, I secretly want to fill in the blanks about my family and my special friends and how I feel about God and my favorite TV show. Because that would make it My Bible, wouldn't it?

How about you? Do you have a My Bible? What's it like? Did you used to have one? Do you wish you did now?

Wade in the Water

I had a lovely meeting with some Christian UU ministers; we call ourselves the "Friends of Josh" - a sly way of describing a secret society, akin to AA, who call themselves the "Friends of Bill." We had an introduction to Ignatian spirituality, which involves praying and imagining oneself in a story in the gospels. We read Mark 1:9-17, which is jam-packed with not 1, not 2, not 3 but FOUR stories!

We were to choose one of the stories, then ask for our desire from God. Then we imagined the story as fully as we could, making use of our senses, and relating ourselves to Jesus, or to what he was experiencing. I chose the baptism. I have been to the River Jordan, as I believe I've posted before, or to the spot where they take tourists for group baptisms. There is a pristine park gathering spot, with a counter to purchase a big t-shirt in which to dunk oneself, and changing rooms. They videotape every baptism, and you can purchase a recording of your holy moment as you're leaving the "park". I started calling it and other places like it in Israel "Jesus Land".

It made me smile. I had to wipe all that out of my mind. I sat on the riverbank, and looked at the lush, green trees that grew alongside it. I was a child of five in my imagining, in shorts and a T-shirt. I watched as Jesus was getting baptized. I was drawn to the tender way John cradled the back of his head as he dipped back. I didn't know if I was supposed to do this, but I decided to get in the water, too. It was cold! Suddenly, (or "immediately", as Mark is fond of saying) I felt the strong tug of the current. It was hard to keep my footing. I also saw clouds gathering and darkening, and birds - not just one dove, but many birds, filling the air. There was a loud voice that I could not understand, and it seemed to come from everywhere, and filled the skies.

I was very frightened - cold, pulled about by swift waters, and the voice and birds that were everywhere. Suddenly, I was caught up in some very strong arms. I knew them to be Jesus. I was held fast. And even though the water was still cold, the voice was still roaring, the birds were still circling, and the current swirling, I knew I was safe.

Moments later I was seated on the bank of the river, the delicious sensation of cool water on my skin in the midst of a hot afternoon. It sparkled and danced in the light.

I have been wondering what Jesus is like - not just a character in a story, but what the living Jesus might be like for me. This is a clue, I think. A focusing of God's love that is too powerful and mysterious to take in without some human form that I can relate to. Someone/something that doesn't take me out of danger, but holds me in it, so I am not alone or afraid.

And I pray to give this love to other people, frightened and selfish as I am. But first I must receive it.