Noble Intentions

Then after this he said to the disciples, “Let us go to Judea again.” The disciples said to him, “Rabbi, the Jews were just now trying to stone you, and are you going there again?” Jesus answered, “Are there not twelve hours of daylight? Those who walk during the day do not stumble, because they see the light of this world. But those who walk at night stumble, because the light is not in them.” After saying this, he told them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I am going there to awaken him.” The disciples said to him, “Lord, if he has fallen asleep, he will be all right.” Jesus, however, had been speaking about his death, but they thought that he was referring merely to sleep. Then Jesus told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead. For your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.” Thomas, who was called the Twin, said to his fellow disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.” John 11:7-16

I love the fuss with the disciples. He tells them Lazarus is sleeping, or fallen, but he has to go, and they're going with him.. The disciples, a bit edgy after the whole Bethany Stoning Episode, try to talk him out of going. If he's just sleeping, what does he need you for? C'mon. And see? Plenty of people for you to help here. We're worried about your safety (and ours). You have to also wonder if they resent the special privilege these folks have. (They're not our friends. Shoot.) Only Thomas sways the group - if we really love him, we should be willing to die with him. Of course, that proves ironic in the coming scenes, doesn't it?

When it's really time for Jesus to die, they flee. We all get angry with the disciples for their failing to stay by their friend, but how human is that? Have you ever made a noble pronouncement only to be unable to carry it out? I believe Thomas wanted to think he could die with Jesus, perhaps with all his heart.

It reminds me of reading about Germans who hid Jews from the Nazis. I immediately wanted to think I would be one of them. Not someone who was too afraid to give up her basement because she had seen what happened to people who helped. I especially wanted to think this when I became close friends with a rabbi (and now that I'm married to a Jew!) But I am realistic enough to know that I don't know what I'd have done. My rabbi friend told me that she doesn't know what she would be capable of doing; no one does. I'll always love her for that.

Maybe the point is wanting to, and doing whatever gives you the best chance of actually doing it. Not a bad goal to have.